Daring Words from Dr. Deb. Dr. Kern dares women to live authentic, empowered, joyful lives. | Dr. Deborah Kern | Women’s wellness empowerment speaker, author and retreat facilitator

The Pleasure of an Edu-Vacation
Posted June 27, 2008 by Dr. Deborah Kern
One of my heart’s desires is to expose my son, Micah (10 years old) to different cultures and help him learn other languages. Early on in my parenting I realized that if I wanted him to learn something he often responded by not wanting to learn it. So, despite the fact that I used to teach middle school Spanish and French, I have forced myself to be low-key about wanting him to learn a language. This summer, however, I found a way to achieve my dream. I took Micah to a Spanish Immersion program in Veracruz, Mexico (see www.VeracruzSpanish.com) where we lived, cooked, shopped, danced, played and made friends while learning and practicing Spanish. I was thrilled the first time Micah responded in Spanish to a question I asked and my heart overflowed with joy as I witnessed the expansion of his worldview. While in Veracruz, we took a bus 3 ½ hours south to a town called Catemaco. From Catemaco we took a long motor boat ride across a pristine volcanic lake to an Ecological Reserve called Nanciyaga. This reserve is replete with iguanas, crocodiles, birds, snakes, monkeys and, of course, mosquitoes. They have recreated an ancient Olmec ritual ground deep in the jungle and there are 10 small cabins for guests. We spent the night there and received Olmec healing treatments such as massage, mineral mud baths and a spiritual cleansing from the Shaman. At night we could hear the crocodiles making soft roaring sounds and in the morning we were awakened by the sounds of the entire jungle waking up! The main reason I wanted to share this with you is because many mothers have told me that they feel trapped by motherhood – unable to go on adventures and devoid of thrills. I admit that I have felt this way, too. But this trip showed me that I can have adventures with my son that are thrilling and educational for both of us.
The Pleasure Diet
Posted February 22, 2008 by Dr. Deborah Kern
It's official! I have started writing my next book: "The Pleasure Diet" You may be thinking: "Haven't you been talking about pleasure for a long time? Why write a book now?" Here's why: I recently discovered that talking about pleasure and knowing all the scientific reasons why pleasure is important is not enough. We've got to EXPERIENCE pleasure many, many times a day - every day - for pleasure to do its healing magic. So, in preparation for writing the book, I am running a 30 Day Pleasure Diet pilot group in April. If you are interested in participating, make sure you have subscribed to my e-news and please send a message to my assistant at Lana@DeborahKern.com I will be taking volunteers in March. Meanwhile, here are some suggestions for you to start with: We receive pleasure from our 5 senses, so it is fun to take one sense at a time and let your imagination run wild as to how you could receive pleasure. In my practice I have discovered that pleasure is EVERYWHERE...but we must be mindful enough to notice. For instance, as you are reading this post there is a taste in your mouth; you can feel textures against your skin; there is sound; your eyes are taking in color and design...like the color in the background of this webpage; you can smell something in your environment. Now....see how you could make each of those more pleasurable. Here are some ideas from my practice of the Pleasure Diet: Taste: freshly brushed teeth, an Altoid, a piece of gum - my favorite is Trident Peppermint Candy flavor, 75% dark chocolate Touch: a sheepskin cover on my office chair, wearing soft fleece with no bra or panties, rich lotion for my hands, a dry skin brush before bathing, almond oil after bathing Smell: candles, incense, aromatherapy oils (in the environment - even the car- and on my body....I love using Young LIving oils because they have so many kinds that affect your mood and mental capacity), scented body lotion, sugar scrubs (also goes in the touch category) Sight: everywhere I look in my house I see things that please me! there is nothing with a bad memory or that feels like clutter. At my desk I have spiritually uplifting photos, handmade art projects from my son, pieces of art from my travels..... so all I have to do is look up from the computer and be transported to some lovely memory Sound: I sort of treat my life like one big Nia class.....music for all types of choreography. I also use crystal singing bowls to calm my mind and have beautiful chimes around the house that sing when the windows are open. Then, there is the non-physical pleasure of meditation. Research shows that meditation increases pleasure chemicals like serotonin and beta-endorphin. That's why you feel a bit 'high' after meditation. And meditation also helps you be mindful of all the pleasures in your environment.
Creating Your Dream Relationship in 2008
Posted December 31, 2007 by Dr. Deborah Kern
What is your New Year's resolution for 2008? If you are like millions of other Americans, you likely have resolved to lose weight, exercise more, pay off credit card debt, or quit smoking. But how about making a resolution that will protect your most important asset of all... your relationship? I have experienced miraculous growth and healing in my marriage over the last few months...and I'm sure it will be the topic of many blogs to come. But for now, I wanted to at least share with you some ideas for creating the relationship of your dreams in 2008. These tips from Dr. Berman may sound trite or cliche to you...but trust me - they work! Even the happiest marriage needs a little TLC every now and then, and there is no better time than the New Year to do a little caretaking. Here are the following relationship resolutions that every couple should make for 2008. (Print it out for your partner, too!) • Tell your kids no! According to the old rules of parenting, children come before everything else, including your marriage. Well, out with the old and in with the new! Your marriage should be your number one priority, and your children should see and respect the importance and beauty of your marriage. Make time for your spouse, even if it means denying your kids' wishes every once in a while. Don't worry, they will still be well-rounded children without that extra music class -- and they will benefit from seeing your happy, healthy marriage. • Rediscover your bedroom. Make your bedroom a sanctuary for you and your partner. This is a private space where you can talk and bond with your spouse. This means no cribs in the corner or kids sleeping in between you every night! Keep your bedroom kid-free and clutter-free. You should also remove the television from your bedroom, since studies have shown that bedroom televisions detract from both rest and marital bonding. Get your sitcom fix before heading to the bedroom -- consider it a sacred space for only you and your partner. • More than just a date night. Conventional marital wisdom tells us to schedule a date night once a week. This is good advice, but we also need to remember to schedule time without the expectation of intimacy at least once a week. Use this time simply to talk with your spouse, or even just cuddle and laugh. One caveat: You are not allowed to discuss errands, grocery lists, or report cards! This is relationship time. • Who do we appreciate? A recent study found that people who kept a gratitude journal, in which they wrote down things they were grateful for, were less likely to be stressed and unhappy than people who did not keep a journal. The same rule of appreciation applies to relationships. The more you express appreciation to your partner, the better you will both feel. Remember to say "thank you" for the amazing things your partner does (especially the small things), whether it is loading the dishwasher or remembering your favorite candy at the drugstore. • Keep it exciting. When things get dull in your relationship, you will feel the effects of it throughout your life. If you want to keep your relationship exciting, you will have to get out of your comfort zone. Try adventure dating in which you go on a roller coaster, see a scary movie, or even go bungee jumping! The dopamine and adrenaline which flood your brain during these experiences are similar to the initial butterflies you felt when first dating your spouse, so get out there and go on an adventure! Even if you aren't the daredevil type, you can break out of your routine by trying a new restaurant and investigating a new part of the city. • Don't lose yourself. Every couple needs time apart to explore their own interests and develop their own friendships. Don't forget your "me" time in 2008, whether it means reconnecting with lost friends, taking a class, or joining an exercise program. Agree to allow your partner the same freedom, and swap babysitting duties while the other person gets to enjoy his relaxation duties. And your last relationship resolution? Make your New Year's Eve kiss with your spouse the best one yet!
Organic is better for you
Posted November 17, 2007 by Dr. Deborah Kern
The debate over whether organic food is healthier than conventionally grown food may be over, according to results from a $25-million study into organic food -- the largest of its kind to date. In October 2007, Times Online reported on a four-year, European-Union-funded study which found that: * Organic fruit and vegetables contain up to 40 percent more antioxidants * Organic produce had higher levels of beneficial minerals like iron and zinc * Milk from organic herds contained up to 90 percent more antioxidants The researchers obtained their results after growing fruit and vegetables, and raising cattle, on adjacent organic and non-organic sites. They say that eating organic foods can even help to increase the nutrient intake of people who don’t eat the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. The UK’s Food Standards Agency, which has formerly said that there is no difference between organic and conventional foods, is reviewing the research findings. But please remember that just because something says "organic" doesn't necessarily mean it is good for you. My grocery store now offers organic potato chips and cookies - which, although a healthier choice than their non-organic siblings, are still highly processed, high-glycemic foods. So its better to stick with organic fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
Get moving!!
Posted November 06, 2007 by Dr. Deborah Kern
As I approach my 50th birthday I am finding all kinds of ways to dare myself to feel fabulous. One of the things I've noticed is that I can get so engrossed in my work that I can spend hours at the computer without moving anything but my fingers. And that leaves me feeling less than fabulous! In order to stay abreast of current research I take many online courses in functional medicine, nutrition, exercise science and mind/body therapies. I also spend a lot of time reading emails everyday. So I found a way to read emails and listen to online webcasts while moving. I end up walking 3 - 4 extra miles a day!! Take a look:
Don't buy the cookie dough!
Posted October 30, 2007 by Dr. Deborah Kern
If you have attended any of my presentations, you have probably heard me talk about the ‘Sugar/Stress Cycle” and how chronic stress creates chemical shifts in the brain and body that cause us to crave carbohydrates. So you would think that when my neighbors came by selling cookie dough as a fundraiser for their elementary school that I would have known better than to buy 2 dozen chocolate mint chip cookies! I could have simply donated money, but no…..I somehow thought I was immune to those stress-induced carb cravings that would ultimately drive me to the freezer night after night until all 24 were gone. It’s important to note that simple sugar does not affect all people equally. Some people are more ‘sugar sensitive’ than others. For example, some people can eat one cookie without causing any cravings for more. However, for others, eating just one cookie plagues them with sugar cravings for the rest of the day. Giving in to the craving by eating more simple sugars creates an endless cycle of craving more simple sugar. If you’d like to find out if you are sugar sensitive, answer the following questions from Dr. Kathleen DesMaisons’ book, “Potatoes not Prozac.” Check each of the following statements that apply to you. The more you check, the more sugar sensitive you probably are….and the more likely you are to eat the cookie dough until it’s gone! ___ I really like sweet foods. ___ I eat a lot of sweets. ___ I am very fond of bread, cereal, popcorn, or pasta. ___ I now have or have had a problem with alcohol or drugs. ___ One or both of my parents are/were alcoholic. ___ One or both of my parents are/were especially fond of sugar. ___ I am overweight and don’t seem to be able to easily lose the extra pounds. ___ I continue to be depressed no matter what I do. ___ I often find myself overreacting to stress. ___ I have a history of anger that sometimes surprises even me. (This questionnaire reprinted with permission from Potatoes not Prozac by Kathleen DesMaisons.)
Vitamin P for Pleasure
Posted October 21, 2007 by Dr. Deborah Kern
I just returned from a fabulous Speaking of Women's Health event in Columbia, Missouri. The event planners were wonderful at helping me convey the message that women need more Vitamin "P" (Pleasure) in their diets. As you may know from reading my book "Create the Body Your Soul Desires," the original meaning of the word "diet" is "a manner of living." What I loved about this event is that they opened with a performance by the bellydance troup "The Dragonflies." These dancers, under the direction of an amazing woman named Kandi Grossman, mesmerized the 550 women in attendance. Their movements were graceful, powerful and filled with pleasure. What a great way to set the tone for a presentation on women's health! Midway through my presentation I invited the women to join me in simple dance movements - and the event organizers came through the audience with boas. Imagine 550 women dancing with boas! Red boas, black boas, pink boas, white boas, purple boas....what a sight! Scientifically I know that we collectively produced enough serotonin and beta-endorphin to completely shift every woman's mood. In my heart I know that if women will continue to dance like there's nobody watching and enjoy the pleasure of being in their bodies, we can create a positive shift in the world....one woman at a time.